Viva Peace

Where is peace? Where do you find it? Does it come about by external means? Or does it come about by internal means? Or does it come about at all? Does anything create peace? Or is peace what is there before anything is created?

For me, music gives me a sense of peace. I’m not sure whether it creates peace within me or if it reminds me of a peace within me that has never been created, but just is. Here’s Animal Collective, a Viva Peace favorite, playing the song Brother Sport. This brings me peace.

The last official work meal here at the office was this afternoon around 1pm. Menu:
/// 2 Negronis // the bartender took this opportunity to make 2 avant garde negronis made with some high-citrus bitters and A LOT of oranges.
/// 2 more Negronis // bartender asks if we’re diggin’ these improvised negronis. “I prefer the traditional.” I say. // “Let me make you a couple of those then.” Bartender says // Ha ha – we get to finish half of the non-trad negronis before the good ones come. // “Oh, yes – perfect – bitter on the sides of my tongue.” the perfect negroni.
/// Josh orders the Chicken. Camren orders the steak. They both come with fries (we’ve both given up fries in recent months). We toast “To working hard with a best friend for the last year!”
/// We talk about life’s transitions. About how much Josh loves Liz and about how my life is heading in a trajectory that is unpredictable yet definitely more informed.
/// We eat and talk about how good the food is. We dip the fries in: spicy ketchup, herb mayonnaise, any other thick liquid we can find.
/// “Dessert?” the waiter asks? // “No, thanks. How ’bout a couple more negronis.” we concur.
/// Espresso and a cappuccino and we’re done.
///”I love you Josh.” // “I love you Camren.”
///End of job.

What a perfect year this has been! Friends are peace.

And here’s my friend Jeff – also from the Brotherhood of Queer Gentlemen party – saying how he lives peace.

Here’s my friend Jerraud at a party – “The Brotherhood of Queer Gentlemen” – at my place. Jerraud’s great, and he’s made a couple videos for Viva Peace.

Here we are at the Lazy Dog in Boulder – same place we filmed the Inauguration video. This is before we were sure who the next president would be.It’s interesting to look back and see what the issues were for people and how that may have affected the election.

The Compassionate Leadership Dialogues was a three-stop tour with Sakyong Mipham, Queen Noor & Rabbi Irwin Kula.Josh was the primary organizer for the tour. Props, Josh!

During President Obama’s Inauguration we went to our local pub and filmed people’s responses as they played the inauguration on about 100 huge TVs.

As transition takes place in my life // w/o a job, wondering what’s next, not getting the Phish tickets I requested after being so hopeful, deciding definitively to do what makes me come alive rather than what is easiest, falling out and into love – all at the same time // as all this happens, where do I find peace?

I find peace at the gym. I try to go for at least an hour every day. I lift weights. I’m obsessed. I think a lot of ppl don’t understand my obsession or they kind of roll their eyes at me when I say “Okay, I’m going to the gym. See you in a couple hours.” I think that if they had any idea how much excess energy I have, they would understand why I can’t function without it. Being able to go to the gym, exert myself harder than I think is possible and accomplish the exercise goals I set for myself // that brings me peace. It’s a kind of conditional/temporary peace, but it’s peace nonetheless.

I also find peace just being around people. I was telling someone recently that if I could have 10 iChat windows open at all times, be on the phone, sending texts and emails all day, and have a room full of people that I know or don’t know — I would do that all day every day and I would love it. I just love being around people // the more the merrier. I love the hectic chaos of a bunch of people in one place. I love the static electricity that fills the air, the scattered-ness, the buzz. I love it. So, that brings me peace too. It seems the things that bring me peace are active // exerting myself at the gym, being around people, working hard – pushing pushing pushing brings me peace.

And to balance that pushing, or make it not too neurotic, it helps me to meditate // to let the mind empty itself, or rather, to let the mind experience space amidst the busy-ness and chaos. And there’s something about meditation that causes trust. I have found peace to be present when I trust, which isn’t necessarily trusting myself and it also isn’t not trusting myself. It’s a bigger trust. A trust that includes trust in myself but is by no means limited to myself. And I don’t believe in a higher power, so I wouldn’t say the trust is external. But I think that the truth of interdependence makes the trust universal and not limited to any particular place or time // not limited to me, not limited to some external savior, not limited. I think the trust is in something “limitless.” I am not quite sure how this trust happens, but it seems to be present when there is space between “me” and “my thoughts.” It is also helpful to know that my thoughts do not belong to “me”, they are rarely created intentionally, and though there is some awareness of these thoughts, not even that awareness belongs to “me.” The awareness itself is not “me.”

And that is what eases my mind in these transition times. To know that b/c there is no “me”, therefore I am indestructible. I cannot be harmed if the thing that is harming and the thing that is harmed are not two separate things, but are inextricably related.

Check out Henry and Max and how they chose to use a camera we gave them to talk about peace.